Mask of Tears

This is the last part but...not. There's an epilouge that I never

finished but I plan to finish it this weekend! So don't forget about

this fic until AFTER you've read the epilouge. xD heehee.

***

I think, in the bottom of their minds, Aiji and Jun thought it

wouldn't work out.

No, I think they *knew* it wouldn't. But despite Jun's childish

complaints and Aiji's silent pleading, I went along with it anyway.

I had been formulating this plan in my head for awhile now, and every

live, every live where I was yet again stuck behind my drumset

beating out the rhythm, I perfected it. Until I knew it was ready.

Lives are always so lonely for me. Everyone else can move to their

heart's content and yet there I am, not able to go anywhere or do

anything fun with anyone. That's why my thoughts wander. That's why I

observe everything. And sometimes I really wish I couldn't. Because I

saw the way everyone else's eyes were on someone else, how all of

them in their minds were wishing to be with that person. I too, was

wishing, but none of them could notice, nor see it. They were all too

busy with their visions to bother with Takeo.

That's why it's *so* nice when Kohta will bounce up to my drumset and

shoot me a smile, or a funny look. It makes me feel special, it makes

me feel not forgotten. Or when Aiji turns around and bams his head to

my symbal crashing. Warmth gathers inside me and I realize that they

DO care, that I'm actually not all alone as I think.

Back until a few hours ago, everytime I saw them both I could only

pray my eyes didn't well up with tears. Because I felt

so...sorry...for them. Both of them stuck behind a falsified reality

that they believed to be true.

And them getting together not only made my 'children' happy, but it

made me happy as well. With Kirito and Kohta together, that left what

I wanted to pursue: Aiji. I bet he thinks I'm just doing this as my

fatherly duty, as my friendly duty. But I really do love him. And now

I know his true feelings as well.

I saw the painful way he reacted to Kirito's fanservice and there I

was, frozen behind some drumset, unable to tear them apart.

So instead it tore me apart.

It tore me apart to have Kirito faking it with Aiji, to have Aiji

want Kirito, to have Kirito want Kohta who wants Kirito but Jun wants

Kohta. Confusing, huh? I figured all of this out in a matter of days.

They all think they're so subtle, but even a blind person would be

able to tell all of their true feelings! Now THAT makes me laugh.

So what if people are against incest. Big deal. If you look at this

situation from a certain point of view, all five of us are

incestuous. If Aiji is my 'child' and I am all of their 'otou-san',

then myself and Aiji is incest. That would make Jun and Kohta incest,

and Aiji and Kirito incest, because they are all my 'children'. I

find that highly amusing.

But I honestly don't think that Kirito and Kohta care what other

people will think about them. After coming to that conclusion, and

after making sure their own feelings (and mine, in fact) were true, I

came to the conclusion of my plan.

It ripped Jun apart, and broke Aiji. And for that I truely am sorry.

But I can fix Aiji. That I know. Jun...we'll figure something out.

Some way that he too, can be okay.

I returned to the table we had been sitting at. Both brothers looked

at me oddly and, as expected, asked why the two pain-filled

guitarists had left. I merely dodged the question and took both of

their hands. I placed them on top of one another. Their faces were so

filled with shock and horror I would have laughed had this not been

so serious.

Then came the deciding moment: I told them. I told Kohta that Kirito

loved him, I told Kirito that Kohta loved him. There wasn't much to

the plan, after all, but it was the only way I could think of to

bluntly break it to them both.

And they both turned to look at each other, and I could sense the

love in both of their eyes.

I excused myself to leave after that. My job was done.

Plus I was sure they'd thank me later.

I walked out of the bar whistling one of our old songs. Finally, they

were together! I had succeeded. And it felt good that they wouldn't

be in pain anymore.

But there was still one little thing to take care of.

I let myself into his apaato and found him sitting at the counter

with a box of cigarettes and a lighter. I tried to ignore the long

gashes that littered his soft, pale skin and pulled up a seat next to

him.

He started crying.

All I could do was hold him and whisper soothing words into his ear.

I told him how I felt somewhere between it all and I felt him lean

even more into the embrace and that made me feel...like the king of

the world.

Many things occured that night that I will divulge into because it

was intimate and private. But Aiji and I are happy, and I'm sure Jun

will be someday. We'll help him. It'll all be okay.

I wonder...where Kirito and Kohta went off to. I smile at the thought

of what they probably did. But it doesn't matter, because they're

happy. And now that I have my Aiji, I don't think I could be any more

estatic.

What will lives be like now? What will occupy my thoughts, and

everyones thoughts, now?

I can only imagine.

-owari

[next chapter]