Simple Thing.
A/N: Okay, this one-shot is for Lucifer. I swear, she’s like my
KiritoxKohta soul mate. <3 I wanted to write something pre-Domestic
Violence to explore how Kohta thought about Kirito. It gives you (and
me, duh) some insight etc. Well, enjoy and rejoice in KxK shota-ness!
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My older brother has always been really cool. For as long as I can remember,
I’ve never admired anyone but him. Even though Onii-chan is a bit
weird and I don’t understand him at all, I would never change him.
Kirito wouldn’t be Kirito if he changed, right?
Right. He’s fine just the way he is.
It’s kind of funny… I don’t think we’re close,
but I definitely like my brother more than the rest of my family. I don’t
hate Mother. She’s very nice but sometimes she worries too much.
I think a lot of mothers are like that. I hate Father, though. He’s
the type that is usually okay but when he drinks a lot, he gets mean.
I’m glad that his job keeps him away a lot. My parents both work
so Kirito is the only one in the house with me. Mother doesn’t like
it. She’d rather not work. I’ve always been babied by her.
It makes sense that she wants to be home. But… I think the real
reason is that she doesn’t trust him. She’s the adult and
he’s her son, yet sometimes she acts like she’s scared of
him! It’s strange, but it doesn’t happen that often. Kirito
can be kind of quiet and stay in his room a lot.
I often wonder what he’s doing in his room. Actually, I wonder about
a lot of things… What does Kirito like? What does he dislike? What
makes him happy? What upsets him? What does he want to do after he graduates
from school? Does he sleep on his back, his side or his stomach? What’s
his favorite day of the week? Favorite month? Favorite color? Does he
enjoy music? If he does, what kind? Then I start to think (more like worry)
about why I don‘t know anything about my older brother. Is it okay
that I don’t? Maybe I’m just supposed to know these things
without him telling me. But, that’s not possible. A person isn’t
born knowing a whole bunch of facts about the person most important to
them! After getting upset about all of that, I realize that I’m
obsessing over Kirito.
I can’t help it! He’s almost always floating around in my
mind! Ever since I was little, I’ve just felt like I was drawn to
him. There’s no way I can explain it. Anyway, how can you explain
something that you can’t even understand? He confuses so much.
One thing is simple, though. A “simple thing” is an idea,
thought or a feeling. No matter what anyone else says or how stupid it
might sound, you can’t let it go. It’s something that you
treasure because it’s the truth and well, it’s simple! No
one knows my simple thing. I’ve never told anyone that…
I’m in love with my older brother.
Now I’ve said: “I love you” to him before. But being
in love and just plain loving is completely different! ‘Cause, Mother
loves me. My feelings for Kirito are way way way different than hers.
They’re not at all similar to what I feel towards my friends at
school either. I’ve spent a lot of time working it all out. I show
all the symptoms of someone who’s in love. I think about Kirito
almost all the time. I feel lucky when we get to talk and spend time together.
I miss him when I’m at school or when Mother drags me away. Stuff
like that…
Okay. Stating that simple fact is the easy part. Figuring out what to
do with it is what makes me my life hard. There are so many problems!
The obvious one is that he’s my brother. I’m pretty sure I’m
not supposed to feel this way. I’ve never seen any other brothers
who were well, closer… I think I should try and stop myself. But,
how do you get rid of something when you don’t know how it came
to be in the first place? I didn’t wake up one morning and choose
to like him. Sometimes I’ve thought about me being infected with
some unknown virus or sickness. The doctors have no cure for it. So, all
I can do is live with it in silence. I have such a strange imagination
at times.
I’m waiting outside the bathroom, leaning against the wall. I can
hear Kirito get out of the shower. He’s probably reaching for a
towel now to dry himself off. I could wait in my room, or downstairs.
I like seeing him only in a towel, though. He’s all clean and beautiful
with his wet, slick hair around his face. I also like to see his body
too. Minutes later, the door finally opens and he comes out. I jump slightly.
I was too deep in thought and it startled me.
I look up at him. His eyes meet with mine. For once I just stare at his
face.
“What are you looking at?” he asks calmly.
I answer without thinking. “You.” A second too late, it clicks
in. I blush. Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!
“Obviously.” Kirito smirks. As he walks past me, he ruffles
my hair and tells me, “You’re cute, Kohta.”
I scramble into the bathroom with a smile on my face. I shut the door
in a hurry. There’s no way I can get rid of my simple thing.
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