***

part three: illusion

The window was steamed up partly from the tea he held in his hand and

partly from his own ragged breaths. It hurt to think. It hurt to

feel. And so by the pane he sat, watching the rain gently cleanse the

city of all it's problems; albeit, not him.

There was a knocking. He didn't want to get up but he did anyway.

There was no point. There was never a point.

And yet behind the door was a living monument of his stupidity, of

his inability to learn.

"Hello, Kirito. What brings you here?" he asked in a low voice,

praying to any god or goddess out there that it did not crack with

the strain not to.

"Hi. Can I come in?" Kirito asked in his usual seductive tone.

sending shivers up the other's man spine. It always started out like

this. Why should this evening be any different?

And though he should refuse, and though he could predict exactly what

would concur after he let Kirito in...he just couldn't stop himself

from opening the door wider to let a damp Kirito inside the warmth of

his aparment.

He was weak. And he would be condemned for it later.

He took Kirito's wet coat and hung it up to dry, nervously tugging

the hem on his shirt down to cover his slim stomach. Merely lounging

around the house had given him no need to change into something

decent, and so he wore a worn t-shirt and striped pajama pants.

Kirito sauntered up him once he was done, running a small hand

through his characoal hair.

He wished it could be his own hands doing that to Kirito, but he kept

quiet. And stared innocently, eyes as big as a doe's.

Kirito ran his tongue over dry lips slowly, tantilizingly, and

reached to touch the other man with his feathersoft fingertips.

He tried to pull away. He really did. But something stopped him from

doing it.

Perhaps it was his other self...?

"I've missed you..." Kirito mused, letting his gaze eat up the face

of the other, his fingers grazing over every bit of skin before

letting his lips replace hands.

"But...why did you leave...yesterday...mor...nnn..i...."

"Don't ask questions. Just let me take you," Kirito murmured in his

ear, a pink tongue lazily trailing over and into his ear. It made him

shiver.

And he moaned. Kirito's arms formed an unbreakable embrace and though

his struggled, he couldn't break free.

And sometime throughout it all, he gave up.

Sometime after his clothes were on the floor, sometime after his

aparment was no longer steamed with just the tea and his tears.

Sometime after he had given in, once again, to Kirito's

ministrations. Sometime before he fell asleep to be left again with

only a kiss goodbye.

His thoughts reverberated in his head, gentle and cooing. But they

still hurt.

Aiji remembered now just -why- he had changed his name.

~*~

It was around dinnertime when Takeo stopped by Kohta and Kirito's

apartment.

Kohta answered the door fully dressed with an apron on. "Er...hey,

Takeo. Can I help you?" Kohta asked nervously, blushing a little at

the fact that he was wearing something girly and Takeo could see him.

The drummer didn't care about this fact though, but he -did- smile at

how cute Kohta looked. "I was wondering if I could talk to you..."

Kohta gave him a curious look but let him in.

Everything Takeo told him he didn't believe. He didn't want to.

Yes, of course he knew that Jun loved him. No, he would not tell

Takeo just how he knew that.

The silver necklace dangled precariously from his neck like a red

flag, but no one noticed.

Takeo left.

And eventually, so did Kohta.

But not physically.

~*~

Aiji awoke at around midnight with a painful headache. Rising, he

noticed straight away he was naked and straight away that Kirito was

nowhere to be found. Just like always.

The guitarist rose and took a hot shower, washing away any trace of

the sexy, sweet-tasting man from him. He wanted to be truly clean.

That, however, was a waste of a wish.

He crawled out of the bathroom and snuggled back into bed.

It was dark. He was alone.

And so, like every night, Aiji was lulled to sleep by the sound of

his own crying.

~The beautiful butterfly is lured into the web whilst the second

spider wavers....will anyone gain happiness?~