[From Kohta's POV for now]

I'm watching glittering city lights go by while leaning against an
oversized train window, once again on my way home from a long day of
work. Getting by like I am is rough, but it's worth it. It's all
worth it when it comes time to head home, home to Oniisan. I'm
anxious to see him. He gets off before I do and he's always waiting
for me with an extra cup of coffee when I arrive. He's a good big
brother. I glance anxiously out the windows on the other side of
the bus. I want to see him so badly.

He sometimes asks me if work is terrible enough to make even the
company of my big brother seem pleasant. He likes teasing and
laughing at me like that. It's fun for him to watch me squirm under
the scrutiny, trying to dig up and adequate comeback to hide the
fact that what he said, or at least half of it, was true. Work is
horrible. But being around him is more than pleasant for me. It's
so much more than pleasant that I have to face the guilt of it every
day, the fact that I've fantasized about him, that he's my brother,
that I can't stop thinking about him no matter what I'm doing. I
really never thought I was gay. I really never thought I was
perverted enough to feel this way about my own brother, but I really
never thought I`d be faced with Kirito. Kirito with the flawless
porcelain skin, ebony hair falling around his face in a perfect
frame. Kirito who's body could twist and turn in all sorts of ways
and with all the grace of liquid, small in frame yet powerful
muscles lying underneath. Kirito who's crystal sharp eyes could cut
you down the instant you bared yourself to him, who's severe mouth
and harsh words soon followed suit. You never even knew what
happened until it was over, and you were left standing in pieces of
yourself. I've seen him do it. He's done it to me, mostly when we
were younger, for I never seemed to learn back then. Now I know how
better to hide what I am from those eyes. But Kirito loves me, I'm
his little brother and he'll protect me from anything that goes up
against us. I see that in his eyes too, that possessiveness, even
though it's only a form of brotherly affection.

We're nearing my stop. I glance up from my stare at the abstract
lights and colors flying by, up to the front of the bus. It's been
cold out for a while and today was no different. Up above the
driver there's a digital screen flashing our destination, the time,
and the weather conditions every so often. Eight o'clock in the
evening and it's nearly to freezing. A look outside reveals that
it's also drizzling quite nicely. Yippee.

I head on wobbly legs to the front, Kirito still firmly locked in my
thoughts, awaiting my chance to jump out into the frigid concrete
wilderness. The bus pulls to a halt at my stop and I huddle in
closer to my coat as the door swings open. Once outside I get the
full effect. I had anticipated the chilliness, maybe even the
freezing drizzle battering down in my hair and rolling down the back
of my neck, but I hadn't quite anticipated the wind. It was almost
freezing, but it felt like twenty below. I pulled my hands inside
the coat's arms and tried as best I could to cover my face as I
headed out, my only wish simply to get home without freezing to
death and winding up in tomorrow's newspaper. I had a long walk
ahead of me, and all I wanted to do was to go home. Just get home
to Kirito and his warm cup of awaiting coffee as quickly as I
could.

[next chapter]